These new videos are less about nice art than they are about radical self acceptance.
This is me. On a bad day of my cycle, on boring beige sheets, no light tricks or neat idea, shaky without a tripod, through a distorting selfie lens. But if I can still get turned on and give myself pleasure and love my body in these unflattering circumstances, l feel like I achieve something. And if I dare share it even though it makes me feel vulnerable, maybe I achieve yet something else.
What exactly am I trying to achieve? I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. I saw this quote on Facebook that read something like, if women woke up and decided to love their bodies, think of all the industries that would go out of business. And I thought, think of how much more sex they would be having.
I want to love myself as I am. Be proud of myself as I am. Show myself as I am. Because then I win over the illusory beauty contest I seem to have been entered in by being born a woman. I win over constantly comparing myself to others and feeling lacking. I win over the insecurities that rob me of confidence, time, money and joyful sexual experiences. I win quietly, in a non violent way, with compassion and love and pleasure as my allies.
Btw, the full orgasm video on Pornhub is long because I didn’t want to stop, and it’s silent because, well, sometimes you’re not really free to make as much noise as you’d like…