On too much/On beauty

On too much

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m sharing too much. Too many images, too many words, too much skin, too much truth.

Paradoxically, I think the solution to feeling like you’ve shared too much is to share more. So what if I’ve done something that’s misinterpretable, I can always keep clarifying.

I think that’s what I do with my work. By putting it out there and making myself deal with whatever happens.

I have been sitting on another video + blog entry, shot and written before the naked truths. To upload or not to upload… If that is the question, then I think I’m starting to know the answer.

***

On beauty

Sometimes my videos are more beautiful than other times.

Like the Blue Seat and Mirror pieces, they were largely inspired by the beauty of the space I was in. So it made sense to keep the images reflecting this quality.

With the Defiance pieces (1 & 2), my focus was elsewhere, to transforming the state I was in. So getting a clean background wasn’t my priority, it actually didn’t matter at all.

There are also pieces like Bloom that come out of a vision in my mind, in this case inspired by the dress. There I really try to be in control of the image. Even if ropping a phone to a ceiling fan came with a lot of challenges to someone with a bad case of vertigo.

And then there’s this piece, which I haven’t decided if I should share yet, that’s just kinda raw and chaotic and not so pretty at all.

I guess because my subject is myself as a sexual woman, I’m very concerned with beauty. I see what I’ve just written as an effort to justify why some videos aren’t as beautiful, as if I believed all my videos needed to be. But do they? Does female sexuality need to be presented beautifully to be agreeable? Does a woman need to be beautiful to be sexual?

The thing is, this is another piece of my truth. Getting irrepressibly horny at a cafe and pursuing the pleasure in the first place possible. Capturing it with my camera because somehow it means something to me. Being in this state means something to me. Allowing myself to touch the part of me that is crying out to be touched means something to me. Wanting to show myself as sexually ignited to the world means something to me.

So there, Spontaneous combustion (explicit sexuality NSFW 18+)

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7 thoughts on “On too much/On beauty

  1. I can imagine the hesitation about sharing too much but at the same time it feels like more people are pushing boundaries of nudity and sex. There seems to be more of it in movies and TV than ever before. The difference is you are doing it with a big emotional pull behind it. The art in what you do is in not just the videos, but the words you are using here to describe what and why you have filmed something a certain way, or why you chose a particular setting. They should be viewed as a whole-not just the videos, not just the words but everything. I understand the vision you are exploring with your work. I have not watched all of them yet, but the one I think is especially beautiful is White Shirt. Something about the brick wall behind you and the white just really set the tone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I do feel like there’s a new wave sex revolution happening right now. I believe it’s very much needed so maybe that’s why I feel called to be a part of it. I’m really glad you can perceive the emotional aspect of my work, it’s very important to me. And I also love the White shirt piece. It’s the one that made me really commit to this project!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well I’m glad you are a part of it.It is needed. As others have mentioned its okay to show graphic violence galore, but show someone naked and its a crime. I do perceive the emotion of your work. White shirt is a good example. It breathes emotion in fact the way you are enveloped in the work. It was nice to see a smile as you shut the camera off however!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your videos balance on a tightrope of the deepest, most meaningful eroticism and a deeper beauty that goes beyond skin and appearance. I genuinely love them. They turn me on and much more than that. In Danish you would say “de vender vrangen ud” – something akin to turning you inside out.

    Liked by 1 person

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