One of the most amazing thing about sharing my work is getting responses, and getting this mirror effect I’ve written about before. To hear that someone else “got” what I was trying to say, it’s just such an incredible reinforcement.
Here’s what someone wrote about my latest video:
“Love your lips!
I watched a video the other day, and I can’t find it now or I’d give you the link, this girl was doing all the cliche lip things, pouting, biting her lower lip, running her finger over her lips, puckering, and I just felt ewww what is she doing? It seemed like she was being directed to do those motions, and thus look sexy (epic fail for me), or she thought that’s what she needed to do to look sexy (again epic fail). And that contrast helped me to realize something about “standard” porn and what you and a few others are doing. You aren’t directed, you’re interacting (with yourself, the camera, doesn’t matter, it’s an exchange). There’s no connection with the directed stuff, even if it’s self directed. No exchange.
And in your video you’re doing essentially the same things, a little pouting, lip biting, etc. however it’s obvious to me you’re exploring your lips, how they feel (assuming that post orgasm sensitivity and connection) and that is SOOOOOO sensual. I want to touch your lips, kiss them just for the feel of it, the sensory and emotional exploration and I want that connection. With that other video I just wanted to say, please stop it’s creeping me out.
I couldn’t make this up. It wouldn’t be as good if I did.
One reaction just appeased a whole layer of my doubts that what I do is shameful, narcissistic, vain, creepy…
And in the act of responding to this response, my thought process gets to clarify itself just a little bit more. Which is yet something else I’m grateful for. Here’s what I wrote back:
“The difference you’re pointing out is exactly what’s driving my work. As a woman, I’ve been asking myself what is sexy, what is hot? What does it mean? What does it look like? Where does it come from? When I look outside myself, I get answers that often feel skewed, to say the least. Looking in for more truthful answers is basically the definition of my work.”