All my life, I have disappeared on people. Not doing well, retrieving, not knowing how to come back. Disappearing on myself, not being able to stay present, stay connected. Letting distance take hold, not keeping in touch. Hiding. Ghosting. A profound inability to deal.
I feel terribly guilty for my social shortcomings failings inconsistencies. I can totally live with myself as being bad in math. But this, this goes to a core that feels essential. It makes me feel like I’m not a good human being. So it’s a vicious cycle. Disappear, feel bad, stay hidden, feel worse.
I’m really working on it though. And it is getting better. The more I find my truth, the more I show up. As myself. For myself and for others.
I didn’t think this project was also going to be about this. I guess I didn’t think this project was also going to be about others. But it is, and I’m so grateful.
Thank you to everyone that watches my videos.
Thank you to everyone that reads my words.
Thank you to everyone that interacts, comments and messages.
Thank you to the technologies that allow me to share in such open ways.
Thank you to me for keeping coming back.