On what it sounds like 

I’m still thinking about my analogy between crying and orgasms. There really is something there for me.

In some way, I think we are similarly deprived of true expressions of both. They are both so intense and, for different reasons, there’s no public place for their release.

If you know how to live these things privately in a healthy manner, then it’s great, you’re all set. But if you don’t know, if you didn’t have good models, if you’ve lost your way, where can you turn to learn what crying sounds like or what having an orgasm sounds like?

I said the other day that crying felt more truthful because I don’t know how to induce it, as opposed to orgasm. It’s true. I have become very good at inducing orgasms. And I am not as good or as inclined to induce crying. But I want to point out that I don’t mean “induce” as in “fake”. I guess both orgasms and crying can be faked. Maybe that’s exactly the problem. How do you know you’re not faking yourself if you don’t know what the real thing sounds like?

What’s real. Still and always what I am looking for.

5 thoughts on “On what it sounds like 

  1. The few times I have had an orgasm, I cried or at least stifled the urge to cry. Is it really the “little death” and the feeling of loss that death brings on? Is the explosion of emotion that one feels the same feeling that you get just before death?


    1. Those are very good and beautifully worded questions. I do think the release orgasms allow are a rare type of experiences within our otherwise very controlled existence. I do cherish these opportunities to feel beyond what I think I’m feeling. As for the experience of death, I wish I had something insightful to say, but that really is the mystery of all mysteries…

      Liked by 1 person

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