On Magic Carpet

All of me laid bare on the carpet. The beauty. The flaws. The motion. The stillness. The searching. The finding.

I shot this piece last summer. In the dawn after my many months dark night of the soul. Digging deep within, letting something emerge from the silence I surrounded myself with.

Then I couldn’t watch it, couldn’t release it. Leaving it to sleep on a hard drive. I guess the waiting serves an important purpose. Sometimes it needs to marinate. Sometimes I need to let myself become ready.

Last week I finally watched it, in its half hour entirety. I can’t say that I really know what I’m looking at, beyond the first degree of seeing myself masturbating.

Skimming over the images it’s easy for me to be repulsed by it. I have to breathe very deliberately to actually watch it. But when I do, I find myself strangely mesmerized.

I see myself and I hear a plea, a prayer. For independence, for attention, for pleasure, for solidarity, for vindication.

There is so much unknown inside my own body and mind and soul. Unspoken. Uncharted. Unrealized. Part black hole, part virgin sky…

Magic Carpet (explicit sexuality NSFW 18+)

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5 thoughts on “On Magic Carpet

  1. Stunning video on all counts. It is mesmeric in a visual sense, your motions and poses are so vulnerable, so beautiful, so entrancing. The overhead view of course really adds to it, but I think the choice of carpet was also captivating. If it had been a wood floor, or a bed I don’t think it would have the same effect. Going deeper, I can see a plea of sorts to this piece. I don’t want to read into it too much but I noticed with your hair play that you seemed to be channeling a Venus sort of look. Also the fetal position you twisted into probably reflects a lot of emotion deep down. But I found it most intriguing of all at one point while you were masturbating (and the overhead view really came into it) where your legs formed almost a heart shape. I found that really so beautiful. So intrinsically beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you got to see all these layers. Emotions, symbolism, abstractions… Someone else also mentioned that at some point my legs are in a diamond shape aligned with the carpet shapes. I love discovering things like that which I didn’t realize would happen. It was definitely a trip to make!

      Liked by 1 person

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