I’m standing at the intersection, staring at the lights. The signals are blank, none of them speak to me. I look up to the night sky, the stars are shining bright. They twinkle at me like maybe they know which is the direction I need to go.
To live in civilization and yet to long for something more. Deeper than technology. Stronger than industry. More alive than productivity.
I dream of the frontier which does not exist anymore, the place beyond where nature is untouched. Virgin and raw and organic, applied to more than the content of my kitchen cupboards.
To be covered in earth without cringing. To be covered in earth and feel that I belong.
The fastest way for me to touch nature is to reach inside myself. Close my eyes and look deeply. Lie still and touch the fabric of my being. There it is. Realer than real.
That’s the place from which I can meet others. From being inside myself, inhabited. I is the thing that sees you. Without that there is no bridge. Without that I am walking through the sea of people alone.
When we meet there is nature. Where we meet is nature. Wild. Untamed. And perilous. Interactions without scripts. Presence without machinations. Seeing without knowing. The real is not a bargain. The real is where it’s free.
I’ve only ever wanted this place to be real. We all have enough fake in our lives. That’s why even when there is so much to say, I can’t try unless it emerges on its own. That’s how it can keep up with where I am going. Even when I don’t know where it is I am going.